Let's talk about goals. Or more specifically, why so many of mine used to end up in the "great ideas, never happened" pile.
I used to consider myself pretty good at setting goals. I’d get that burst of motivation, imagine the amazing outcome, maybe even buy the supplies.
Learning fluent Spanish? Definitely! Becoming a yoga master? Sign me up! Finally kicking my sugar habit? This time for sure!
Fast forward a few weeks (or sometimes just days), and reality would hit. My Spanish books gathered dust, my yoga mat saw action maybe once a week instead of every other day, and that 100% sugar-free pledge? Yeah, about that...
It was frustrating.
Why could I start things but rarely see them through?
After a lot of reflection (and staring at neglected Duolingo notifications), I realised a few patterns kept popping up.
These weren't earth-shattering secrets, just simple truths about how I was tripping myself up. Maybe you'll recognise some of them too.
Here are 3 big reasons I kept failing at my goals in the past.
My Goals Were Fuzzy Wish Sandwiches
One of my biggest mistakes? Setting goals that sounded good but had zero substance. They were vague wishes sandwiched between good intentions, with no actual filling.
Take my Spanish language goal. I was learning Spanish at high school, loved it, and genuinely wanted to maintain and improve my proficiency. So, the goal was "maintain Spanish." Sounds reasonable, right? Wrong.
What did "maintain" actually mean in terms of daily actions? Should I read? Watch movies? Practice speaking? How often? For how long? I had no answers, just a fuzzy desire.
Because it wasn't a clear action plan, it was easy to let it slide. "I don't have time today," I'd think. Or "I'm not really motivated right now." There was no specific, small task scheduled, no clear benchmark for success. Without a concrete "what" and "when," the motivation naturally faded, and my Spanish skills slowly rusted.
Similarly, I've attempted to learn German several times. Each time, the "goal" was simply "learn German." I'd maybe download an app or buy a beginner's book, dabble for a bit, hit the first tricky grammar point, and... fizzle out. There was no plan beyond the initial enthusiasm, no smaller steps defined. It was a wish, not a project.
Lesson learned: vague goals lead to vague results (or no results). I now know I need to break things down. Instead of "maintain Spanish," maybe it should be "Review Spanish vocabulary flashcards for 10 minutes, 3 times a week" or "Watch one Spanish YouTube video per week." That's something concrete I can actually do and track.
Aiming for the Moon on Day One
Ah, enthusiasm. It’s great, but sometimes my initial excitement made me set the bar ridiculously high. I’d overestimate my available time, energy, and existing willpower, leading straight to overwhelm and burnout.
My yoga goal is a perfect example. Inspired by a vision of zen-like flexibility, I decided I would practice yoga every second day. That sounds amazing on paper.
In reality? With two young kids, a remote job demanding focus, and the general chaos of everyday chores, finding a dedicated 30-50 minute slot every other day was, frankly, unrealistic for me right now.
What happened? I’d miss one session, feel guilty, miss another, and the whole "every other day" plan felt like a failure.
Now, I manage once a week. For a long time, I viewed this as failing my original goal.
But looking back, maybe the goal was the problem, not just my execution. Starting with "once a week" and building from there might have felt like progress instead of constant catch-up.
This pattern applies to my attempts at quitting sweets, too. I used to eat a lot – we're talking several calorie-rich chocolate bars a day wasn't unusual for me. My goal was always "Quit sugar 100%!"
That's a massive leap!
And predictably, after a few days or a week of intense restriction, I'd crash and burn, often eating more sweets than before out of sheer deprivation. It was too big, too soon.
Now, I'm focused on reduction. It's not perfect, progress is patchy (hello, Easter candy aftermath!), but reducing feels slightly more achievable than total elimination right now.
Lesson learned: start small, ridiculously small if necessary. Build the habit first, then increase the intensity or frequency. It’s better to consistently practice yoga once a week than to aim for four times, fail, and quit altogether. Celebrate small steps and adjust goals based on real life, not just initial excitement.
My 'Why' Was a Whisper, Not a Roar
Why did I really want to maintain Spanish? Because I felt I "should" after learning it in high school? Why learn German? Because it seemed like a useful language? Why quit sugar 100%? Because health articles said so?
Looking back, the motivation behind many of my failed goals was pretty weak. It wasn't deeply connected to my core values or a burning personal desire. It was more of a "nice-to-have" or something I felt obligated to do.
When the initial enthusiasm wore off (as it always does), and things got difficult or boring, that weak "why" couldn't sustain the effort.
For Spanish, the lack of a pressing need meant motivation easily evaporated when life got busy. With German, quitting shortly after starting suggests the initial interest wasn't backed by a strong enough reason to push through the challenging bits.
Even with sweets, the "why" for 100% restriction ("be healthier") often got drowned out by the immediate "why" for eating them ("I'm stressed," "I deserve a treat," "It tastes good!").
For the reduction I'm managing now, the "why" feels a bit stronger – it's less about abstract health and more about avoiding those horrible sugar crashes that kill my energy for things I really care about, like playing with my kids or focusing on work goals.
Lesson learned: goals need a powerful "why" behind them. Before committing, I need to ask myself: why do I truly want this? Is it deeply important to me, or just something that sounds good? Connecting a goal to a core value or a strong personal reason provides the resilience needed to keep going when motivation inevitably dips.
Learning from the Stumbles (and Finding Support)
Recognizing these patterns – fuzzy goals, aiming too high too fast, and weak motivation – has been eye-opening.
It doesn't mean I magically achieve everything now, but it does mean I approach goal setting differently. I try to be clearer, start smaller, and connect more deeply with my reasons.
But there’s another piece I’m realizing is often missing: doing it all alone. It’s hard to stay motivated, navigate setbacks, and keep perspective when you’re the only one tracking your progress or battling your habits.
Sharing the journey, the struggles, and the small wins makes a massive difference. It provides accountability and, just as importantly, reminds you that you're not the only one finding it tough.
That’s where community comes in. Finding the right kind of support can be the missing ingredient.
Need Your Own Goal Support Squad?
If any of this sounds familiar – the stalled goals, the motivation dips, the feeling of going it alone – maybe it's time to find your crew. Having people who understand the process, cheer you on (even when progress is slow or imperfect), and offer gentle accountability can be game-changing.
Consider checking out Goal Watch. It’s a platform built specifically around small, supportive, goal-oriented communities. It’s designed for exactly this kind of journey.
On goalwatch.net, you can:
- Join or create small groups focused on your specific goals (whether it's habit change like reducing sweets, learning languages, fitness, creative projects, or something else).
- Share your progress – the good, the bad, the "ate Easter candy" days – in a safe, non-judgmental space.
- Get encouragement and insights from others on similar paths.
- Benefit from the structure of regular check-ins to build consistency.
You don't need to be perfect to join; you just need a goal and a willingness to show up.
Ready to tackle your goals with real support? Find your community of Goal Watchers today! Visit GoalWatch.net to get started.
Still Training
So, that’s where I am. Still working on the sweets, still setting goals, still learning.
Recognizing why I failed in the past doesn't guarantee future success, but it definitely improves my odds.
And understanding the power of clarity, realistic steps, strong motivation, and community support makes the whole process feel less like a lonely struggle and more like a manageable, shared adventure. Maybe yours can too.
