If the word routine makes you roll your eyes - or feel instantly guilty - you’re not alone. For many people, especially those with neurodiverse brains, unpredictable jobs, parenting responsibilities, or mental health challenges, sticking to routines can feel more like a chore than a tool.
I’ve been through several rounds of psychotherapy, taken antidepressants for two years, read my share of self-help books, and still wrestle with self-doubt and low self-esteem.
And even now, after years of trying to “fix myself,” what’s helped me most isn’t forcing discipline - it’s learning to meet myself where I am. That’s what this article is about.
Mental health goals don’t have to be rigid, colour-coded, or perfect. The best ones are flexible, realistic, and supportive.
Here’s how to set six mental health goals that work with your life, not against it.
Flexible Mental Health Goals
1. Check in with yourself once a day, at any time
This is a simple habit that often gets overlooked. Checking in doesn’t mean analysing every emotion or writing a full journal entry. It can be as basic as asking yourself:
👉 “What do I need right now?”
👉 “What’s been weighing on me today?”
👉 “Do I feel overwhelmed, or actually okay?”
This kind of micro-reflection builds self-awareness over time. It helps you spot early signs of burnout, notice emotional patterns, or even just celebrate small wins.
If you want to take it one step further, jot your response in your phone notes or use a mood-tracking app. But even a mental check-in while brushing your teeth is better than nothing.
As productivity author Tim Ferriss once put it:
Sometimes the worst place you can be is in your own head.
That’s exactly why regular, low-pressure check-ins can make a difference - they help you get out of autopilot and into awareness.
I used to think I had to journal like a wellness guru or wake up at 5 a.m. to do it right. But one question - “What do I need right now?” - became my simplest, most helpful tool. No notebook needed, no guilt if I forget. Just awareness.
🔁 Try Micro-Habits and Habit Stacking
Sometimes the sheer idea of starting a new habit feels overwhelming. This is where the concept of micro-habits comes in - tiny, almost effortless actions that lower the barrier to entry.
Instead of “meditate for 10 minutes,” try “take one deep breath.” Instead of “journal every night,” try “write one sentence.” These micro-habits build momentum, and sometimes that’s all you need.
You can also try habit stacking: attach your check-in to an existing habit. For example:
“After I brush my teeth, I’ll ask myself: what do I need right now?”
Stacking helps integrate self-care into your day without adding pressure.
2. Build your own version of rest
We often treat rest as a luxury or something that has to be earned after a long to-do list (so me!).
But rest isn’t optional - it’s maintenance. And it doesn’t have to look like a bubble bath or a two-hour nap.
Try reframing it. Rest can mean not forcing yourself to be productive when you’re drained. It can mean saying no to a social plan, even if you feel guilty. It can mean watching a comfort show you’ve already seen five times because it calms your nervous system.
What matters is how it makes you feel after. If it replenishes rather than numbs you, it counts.
Also, don’t underestimate passive rest, like lying down with music, or active rest, like drawing, knitting, walking, or cleaning the home, to clear your mind.
🧭 Understanding Your Energy Cycles
We often hear about “morning people” and “night owls,” but our energy levels fluctuate throughout the day, week, and even month (for some, hormonally).
Trying to force high-energy tasks during low-energy periods is a recipe for frustration.
Instead of a rigid schedule, try to map your flow. Are you sharper in the mornings or evenings? Do certain days of the week consistently feel heavier? You can track this with a simple notebook or an app - just observe for a week or two.
Once you get a sense of your natural rhythms, start aligning tasks to them. If you know afternoons are a slump, use that time for low-effort activities like listening to a podcast or using your mental health toolkit. Work with your body, not against it.
3. Create a “low energy” mental health toolkit
We all have days where basic tasks feel like climbing a hill in wet socks. On those days, motivation won’t magically appear, but planning ahead can help.
Create a mental or digital “emergency kit” for those low-energy moments. Think of it as your list of minimum viable self-care - things that take little effort but still help you feel grounded.
Ideas could include:
- A 2-minute breathing technique you’ve saved on YouTube
- A no-cook snack that helps you feel nourished
- A photo album that makes you smile
- A playlist that eases your anxiety
- A gentle podcast episode you’ve heard before
- A meme folder (yes, humour helps)
This isn’t about fixing the bad day; it’s about softening the edges.
And remember, this is a perfect time to use what you’ve learned from tracking your energy - schedule these gentle tools when you know your energy is typically low.
4. Set boundaries with one thing, not everything
When people talk about boundaries, it can sound like a full lifestyle overhaul. But for someone with inconsistent energy or mental health ups and downs, that’s a fast track to feeling overwhelmed.
Instead, pick just one thing to focus on for now.
Maybe it’s turning off notifications past 8 p.m.
Maybe it’s declining one invitation a week.
Maybe it’s not checking work emails on weekends.
One small but consistent boundary gives you immediate relief and proves to your brain that you can protect your peace, without needing a full life reset.
And here’s the key: boundaries can change. You’re allowed to adjust as your circumstances shift.
5. Talk to one person about how you’re really doing
We often think of support as a big network or a formal therapist (which is great if accessible). But sometimes, just one trusted person can make a huge difference.
That one person could be a sibling, a friend, a mentor, or even someone online who shares your experiences. What matters is that you feel safe to be honest.
You don’t need to have “deep talks” every week. Sometimes, sending a voice note that says, “Today sucked and I don’t know why” is enough. Connection doesn’t have to be perfect - it just has to be real.
Being vulnerable with someone you trust is often the first step toward rebuilding hope.
6. Forgive yourself when things don’t go as planned
This might be the hardest one on the list, but also the most important.
There’s this sneaky belief that progress is linear: that if we really cared about our mental health, we’d stick to the plan.
But life doesn’t work like that. Especially when your mood, energy, or mental state fluctuate.
You will miss days. You will skip tools. You’ll forget your check-in, or go a week without using your “low energy” kit. That’s okay.
Falling off track doesn’t erase the work you’ve done. It just means you’re human.
As psychologist Kristin Neff reminds us:
With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend.
This one took me the longest to learn.
After years of therapy, yoga, and medication, I still catch myself thinking I “should be further along" or "could do more today".
But healing doesn’t follow a straight line. Some days, I can show up for myself fully. Other days, the win is brushing my teeth and doing a stretch. Both count.
🎯 Embrace the “Good Enough” Mindset
In a world that often praises perfection, aiming for “good enough” is a radical act of kindness.
It’s easy to fall into all-or-nothing thinking: “I missed my check-in, I might as well give up.”
But a five-minute walk is good enough. A single deep breath is good enough. Doing something is always better than doing nothing because of the pressure to do it all.
And if you’re hitting your mental health goals 80% of the time - that’s success. The other 20% isn’t failure - it’s just life.
Final thoughts
Mental health goals shouldn’t feel like another thing you’re failing at. If routines don’t work for you, that’s not a flaw - it’s feedback. It means you need something more adaptable, something human.
I’m still figuring this out, too. My routines aren’t perfect. My mind isn’t always kind. But I know this: showing up imperfectly is still showing up.
Start small, be flexible. Track your energy, adjust your approach, and aim for good enough, not perfect. These aren’t shortcuts - they’re sustainable strategies.
You deserve to feel supported, even if your version of progress looks different than someone else’s.
💬 Want to make these goals easier to stick with?
Join one of the small, supportive villages on Goal Watch - a space to share progress, ask questions, and stay connected with others who get it.
No pressure, no perfection - just real people working on real goals, together.
