We live in a world where connection is both constant and strangely absent. We can send a message across the globe in seconds, yet still feel lonely in our own city.
Social media has made it easier than ever to maintain hundreds of “contacts”, but how many of those turn into real, supportive relationships?
As academic and podcaster Brené Brown reminds us:
Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued.
That’s where social goals come in. They’re not about getting more followers or curating a perfect feed. They’re about building habits that make our relationships deeper, more consistent, and more rewarding.
And the best part? You don’t need grand gestures. Most social goals are small, repeatable actions that fit into everyday life. Here are 10 to get you started, each one designed to work offline just as well as online.
Social Goals You Can Start Today
1. Schedule One Real Conversation a Week
Why it matters – Quick messages keep us connected on the surface, but deeper bonds form when we hear someone’s voice, see their expressions, and respond in real time.
How to do it – Pick a day and time you can stick to. Call a friend on your commute, schedule a video chat, or meet for coffee. Even 15 minutes counts - consistency is what matters.
Pro tip – Keep a running list of people you want to catch up with so you’re never wondering who to call next.
2. Send a Message Just to Say “Thinking of You”
Why it matters – We often reach out when we need something, but pure “thinking of you” messages break that pattern and show genuine care.
How to do it – Once a week, scroll through your contacts and pick someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. Send a short note, a voice memo, or even a photo that reminded you of them.
Example – “Saw this café and thought of our coffee meetups. Hope you’re doing well!”
3. Plan a Shared Experience Every Month
Why it matters – Memories aren’t made in endless group chats; they’re built when you do things together. Shared activities create inside jokes and stronger bonds.
How to do it – Rotate ideas: try a cooking night, go for a hike, visit a local market, or take a one-day trip. If logistics are tricky, even an online trivia night works.
📌 Research says
A large-scale study involving over 1,039 couples and 62,000 daily entries found that shared activities, from casual daily conversations to more intentional moments, were strongly linked to higher relationship satisfaction, both short and long term. Couples who kept these experiences going showed slower declines in satisfaction over time.
Another qualitative study on married women found that shared leisure routines not only strengthened emotional bonds and mutual support but also improved conflict resolution and overall relationship growth.
4. Introduce Two Friends to Each Other
Why it matters – Networking doesn’t have to be formal. Introducing friends who share interests can spark new friendships and make your circle richer.
How to do it – Think about who in your life might get along and arrange a casual group activity. It could be as simple as inviting both to the same coffee meet-up.
Pro tip – Set the stage: tell each person why you think they’ll enjoy meeting the other.
5. Start (or Revive) a Tradition
Why it matters – Traditions create a sense of stability and belonging. They give everyone something to look forward to.
How to do it – This can be small: a monthly brunch, an annual camping trip, or even a Friday “pizza and board games” night. Stick with it long enough, and it becomes part of your shared history.
Example – A friend group that meets for pancakes on the first Saturday of every month, no exceptions.
6. Give Compliments Out Loud
Why it matters – Positive thoughts often go unsaid. Speaking them can strengthen trust and make people feel seen.
How to do it – Make it a goal to give at least one genuine compliment per day — about personality, effort, or small wins, not just appearance.
Pro tip – Be specific. “I appreciate how you handled that situation calmly” means more than “good job.”
7. Join a Small Group That Meets Regularly
Why it matters – Research shows people feel more connected in smaller groups than in large, anonymous gatherings.
How to do it – Look for local clubs, volunteer groups, or online communities that match your interests. Regular interaction builds familiarity and trust.
Example – A weekly book club, a volunteer team at a local shelter, or a small online accountability group for personal goals.
8. Celebrate Others’ Wins (Big or Small)
Why it matters – Acknowledging progress, no matter the size, boosts morale and deepens bonds.
How to do it – Keep a mental (or actual) list of your friends’ milestones. Send a congratulatory message, gift, or simply show up to celebrate.
Pro tip – Mark important dates in your calendar so you never miss them.
9. Show Up When It Matters
Why it matters – Physical or virtual presence during important life moments leaves a lasting impression.
How to do it – Be there for birthdays, graduations, moving days, hospital visits, or even difficult conversations. It’s the actions that speak loudest.
Example – Driving across town just to drop off soup when a friend is sick - these gestures are remembered for years.
10. Share Your Struggles Too
Why it matters – Relationships deepen when we’re not only there for the good times. Vulnerability builds trust.
How to do it – Open up about challenges in safe, supportive spaces. It invites authenticity and strengthens the bond.
Pro tip – Pair sharing with listening. Give as much space for others’ stories as you do for your own.
Why Social Goals Have a Big Impact on Your Mental Health
Think of social connections as a form of self-care. The science is clear: strong relationships are key to our well-being.
Focusing on these small, actionable goals doesn’t just improve your relationships; it also boosts your mental and emotional health.
- Stress reduction: When you feel supported and heard, your body's stress response is less intense. A simple phone call with a friend can lower your cortisol levels.
- Happiness boost: Acts of kindness, like sending a "thinking of you" message or giving a genuine compliment, trigger the release of feel-good chemicals like oxytocin and serotonin. This benefits both you and the person you're reaching out to.
- Increased resilience: Having a strong social network helps you bounce back from setbacks faster. When you know you have people you can rely on, you feel more confident in facing challenges.
How To Practice Intentional Listening
One of the most powerful but often overlooked social goals is simply to listen with intention. This means more than just waiting for your turn to talk.
- Put away distractions: When you're having a conversation, put your phone away. Give the other person your full attention.
- Ask open-ended questions: Instead of "Did you have a good day?" try "What was the best part of your day?" This invites a deeper, more meaningful response.
- Validate feelings: Phrases like "That sounds really tough" or "I can see why you'd feel that way" show that you're not just hearing their words, but you're also understanding their emotions.
| Do | Don’t |
|---|---|
| Put your phone away and give full attention | Keep your phone in hand or glance at notifications |
| Maintain eye contact and open body language | Avoid eye contact or face away while listening |
| Ask open-ended questions (e.g., “What was the highlight of your day?”) | Stick to closed questions (“Did you have a good day?”) |
| Validate feelings (“That sounds really tough” / “I can see why you’d feel that way”) | Dismiss or minimise emotions (“It’s not a big deal”) |
| Let the other person finish speaking before responding | Interrupt or steer the conversation back to yourself |
| Use short affirmations (“I understand,” “That makes sense”) to show you’re engaged | Stay silent with no verbal cues, making them wonder if you’re listening |
Common Mistakes When Setting Social Goals
- Making them too big – “Have lunch with everyone I know” sounds nice, but it isn’t realistic. Start small and build.
- Confusing online engagement with real connection – Likes and comments on social media can be supportive, but they don’t replace voice calls or in-person time.
- Focusing only on giving or only on receiving – Healthy relationships have balance.
How to Get Started This Week
- Choose two goals from the list above.
- Write them somewhere visible (phone reminders, sticky notes, habit tracker).
- Set a specific time for each - don’t leave it to “when I remember.”
- Track your progress and celebrate even small wins.
Reflection Questions
- Who in my life do I want to reconnect with?
- Which relationships make me feel most energised?
- What’s one tradition I could start this month?
Why Social Goals Work Best in Small Communities
Large networks can be noisy. In small, supportive groups, there’s space for everyone to be heard.
Whether it’s a book club, a running group, or an accountability circle, smaller communities make it easier to stay consistent with social goals.
Tip: If you don’t have one, create one. Start with 3–5 people and a simple commitment: meet, message, or check in regularly.
Ready to make it happen? Join one (or create your own) small, supportive community on Goal Watch and turn these social goals into part of your everyday life; no hashtags required.
